


That's my House but You're My Home

by bar2d2s



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Millicent the cat - Freeform, physical health issues too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 01:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6065464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bar2d2s/pseuds/bar2d2s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's only a supreme devotion that would cause Hux to allow his lover's estranged father to take him out to lunch, but Kylo always did bring out the worst in him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's my House but You're My Home

**Author's Note:**

> Just want to issue a preemptive warning regarding a pretty accurate description of a depression rut midway through, drawn from personal experience. If that is something you find uncomfortable or hits too close to home, I won't fault you for giving this fic a pass.

Hux was quite happy with his life, thank you very much.

His career as a private accountant afforded him a level of comfort he couldn't have imagined when he'd first left home at eighteen. His home was furnished to his tastes, he could eat out whenever he pleased, he had a membership at an exclusive gym, and...alright, his car was several years old at this point, but it was perfectly functional and he'd bought it new. Best of all, after years of celibacy, shame, and more than a few romantic catastrophes, he finally had a warm body to come home to at the end of the day that wasn't his cat.

Kylo Ren wasn't the type of person he'd assumed he'd be interested in. He was immature. He had a hell of a temper. For god's sake, the man was thirty and he still wore sneakers regularly. But he was also tall, with wide shoulders and deep, dark eyes that made Hux shiver whenever Kylo focused his attention on him. He was funny, even if his sense of humor was a tad mean-spirited. And he always threw his anger into his work, something Hux appreciated in more ways than one. 

Kylo was a sculptor who dealt mainly in abstract metal pieces. Though Hux couldn't claim to understand them as innately as an art critic would, he knew what he liked. It was his art that drew Hux to Kylo, after all. The second he saw the twisted wreckage that was the centerpiece of the show, he'd known that he needed to meet the person whose brain could turn what was clearly garbage into something that actually moved him. He hadn't been expecting a reed of a man in an oversized sweatshirt, who looked as though he'd only just woken up on the way to the show, but he struck up a conversation anyway. It broke into an argument in seconds and in a show of incredible pettiness, Kylo had thrown his drink in Hux's face.

He'd then immediately apologized, tried to clean him up with his baggy sleeves, begged him to help him escape 'this carnival of pretentiousness', and by the time they were midway through a large cup of Five Guys fries an hour later, Hux couldn't think of another person he'd rather have annoying him for the rest of his life.

It was because of that fond irritation he'd so graciously allowed into his life that Hux was willing to put up with nonsense like this.

It wasn't the tensest stare down he'd ever participated in, nor the longest, nor the most intense, if Hux was being honest. He'd had worse almost-fights with Kylo over the last yogurt pop in the freezer. But he also wasn't backing down.

Han Solo sighed.

"I just...it's just lunch. Ben-"

"Kylo." Hux corrected, with no small amount of satisfaction when Han's brows drew together. Kylo's did the same every time he actually tried to hold back his urge to yell. "If you want me to eat with you, you'll respect the name he uses now." Han's shoulders went rigid.

"I...yeah. Okay." The older man jerked his thumb towards the door. "C'mon, I'll drive."

They ended up a few blocks away, at a diner that Hux must have passed a thousand times without giving it a second glance. The whole place smelled of coffee and grease, but it wasn't unpleasant. He'd frequented a similar restaurant when he was young and broke in his school days. They took a seat in a far booth, and waited until after they'd ordered to begin.

"I'm not telling you where we live." Hux said, hands folded neatly in front of him on the table. If he could see them, he wouldn't fiddle with them. Han ran a hand through his graying hair. The way Kylo had talked about him, he'd made his father out to be a man who thought on his feet. A man who always knew the right thing to say, but rarely meant it.

"And I'm not asking you. Listen, Hux, B- _Kylo_ hasn't called his mother in two years. He hasn't come to see us in nearly ten. The only reason I was able to find _you_ was because he added his sister on that Twitter thing, and she did the legwork for me." Well, at least he admitted it. Hux would keep that part to himself, though, as Kylo was only just beginning to mend bridges with a sister that barely remembered him, and he rather liked the girl. "I'm worried about him. All the pictures I see, he's skinny, with dark circles under his eyes."

"He has a very strict work schedule." Hux lied smoothly. Kylo's work schedule basically consisted of raiding junkyards for new materials twice or three times a month, then waiting for inspiration to hit him. His day to day schedule mostly involved the internet, trying to leash train Millicent, sending him passive-aggressive texts punctuated with soppy emojis, and cooking. Sometimes he'd leave the house and spend hours stealing the wifi at Starbucks for a change of view. Kylo wasn't exactly _lazy_ , he was simply unable to be artistically brilliant on command. Han snorted, shaking his head.

" _Artists_ don't work on a schedule." He said the word artists like most people would say _skunk_ or _compost_. Hux felt his cheeks color slightly with his sudden contempt for the man across from him. "Maybe you can explain it to me. Maybe he's told you. What compels a kid as smart as Ben to drop out of law school to root around in garbage heaps for scrap metal to make wind chimes?"

"Depression, and a father who refused to address it!"

There was a hush then, that swept across the diner as Hux realized he'd shouted. His hands were flat on the table now, as if he'd been planning on launching himself across it. Han stared at him, mouth set in a thin line.

Kylo had told him all about college. About how the only reason anyone ever invited him to anything, or talked to him at all, was because he was a Senator's son. About the way his uncle tried to talk him through his problems, but of course a world-class golden boy of a defense attorney didn't understand what it was like to be so totally and completely _alone_ , even if he could find the right words to explain it. 

To explain why he slept all day, why he'd often been found just sitting naked in a shower stall. Why everything that had interested him about the justice system, everything that drove him to succeed, suddenly vanished. He was sad, but he wasn't. He couldn't just cheer up, find something that made him happy. Everything made him angry, and his anger made him equal parts lethargic, and liable to lash out. He ate enough to keep from fainting when he stood, slept so much the sight of the sun made his head hurt, and missed so many classes, the college eventually sent him packing. He _could_ have gotten better at home, given the chance.

But he didn't, because his father didn't believe his depressive episodes were real.

So he left.

"It's been twelve years." Han said quietly. "I didn't...Ben was always making things up as a kid, for attention. I didn't believe him then-"

"And you do now?" Hux demanded, equally quiet. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw their food. "Why?" He'd never actually seen someone twiddle their thumbs before, but when Han next spoke, eyes downcast, he understood his need for distraction.

"It runs in the family."

Their food arrived and for a while, there was little more than chewing. Hux noticed that Han checked his phone several times, and his hands twitched towards his own, tucked inside his inner jacket pocket. There were several texts from Datoo at the office, as well as a picture message of Millicent on her leash from Kylo. He smiled, and was beginning to tap out a reply when the phone rang.

Han froze, looking up guiltily. He clearly didn't know that Hux was planning on telling Kylo about their lunch later. With a sigh and a shake of his head, he picked up.

"Hey, asshole!" Kylo said cheerily into his ear. "Mitaka said you went out to lunch with someone today. She hot enough to share?" Hux scowled, but it was a fond one. 

"Oh, shut up. I see you're torturing my cat again." Millie probably liked being allowed to go outside but, quite like her master, she hated being tied up. "When are you going to learn that you simply _can’t_ teach a five year old cat to walk on a leash?"

"I'll have you know we made it all the way down to the corner of the block before she turned into a fat lump on the sidewalk and I had to carry her back. Progress."

They chatted idly for a bit, Hux finishing up the sweet potato fries he'd ordered with his burger as in the background, he heard Kylo starting to prepare his own lunch. His eyes narrowed at the clinking of bottles. "Put it back."

"It's root beer!" Kylo whined, loud enough for Han to have to pretend not to hear it across the table. Hux snorted.

"Yes, and you're not allowed to have caffeine right as you wake up anymore. Speaking of, did you remember to take your pills?" In a show of defiance, Hux heard the distinct sizzle of bacon. "Please tell me you're not just making a package of bacon for breakfast."

Kylo had been raised kosher, and didn't even _like_ bacon. He was most likely making it so that it would be cold and crispy when Hux got home, the exact opposite of the way he liked it. Little shit.

"No, I'm gonna make some macaroni and cheese, probably. And yeah, pills got taken." 

"Which ones?" Hux prompted. It wasn't really necessary, Kylo usually remembered to take all of them, but he still liked to be sure.

"Wellbutrin, Sotalol, and Flecainide." He recited back, and Hux sighed. Kylo was good about taking his heart medication, but tended to skip the Wellbutrin on days when he 'felt fine'. "And now I'm making food. Also it's almost noon, so I think I should be okay with a soda."

"No soda." Hux said firmly, and Kylo groaned. "I bought cranberry juice, drink that."

"Phasma's trying to organize another show for me." He said suddenly, and Hux heard the quiet creak of the fridge door. "For summer. Think I should tell her she's crazy if she thinks I'll have twenty pieces done by June?"

"You can do it if you throw yourself into it. You were creating things at a frenetic pace before the hospital, you just have to work up that same enthusiasm without the crushing stress. I can help with that." Han had made a small noise at the word _hospital_ , and Hux held up his hand. "I need to finish my lunch so I can get back to the office. Put the root beer back." Kylo yelped, and Hux heard the smash of a bottle, followed by a curse. "Or, just clean it up. Love you."

"How the fuck do you always _do_ that?" Kylo grumbled, and there, tucked away in the far corner of some dingy diner, Hux smiled at the sheer swell of affection he felt for the man on the other end of the line. "We're splitting one tonight, I have a _craving_." As almost an afterthought, he replied, "Love you more, because I cleaned the litter box and don't tell you what to eat." Then hung up before Hux could get in a parting shot. He shook his head. That man. That awful, wonderful man.

Han cleared his throat.

"Hospital?" He said weakly, and Hux sighed. So much for finishing his lunch.

It had been about a year back. Kylo had been taking commissions from private collectors, and was pumping them out faster than he was used to. He wasn't eating or sleeping much and at first, when he complained about his chest pains, Hux was worried that he might have had a minor heart attack. The doctor they went to had him go to the emergency room where they were told that Kylo was currently in AFIB, or Atrial Fibrillation. He'd pushed his body too hard for too long, and a dormant (though pre-existing) heart condition asserted itself. One week in the hospital later, he was officially diagnosed with heart arrhythmia and put on a veritable candy tray of medications, that were eventually narrowed down to the two he took every morning and evening.

Han leaned over the table, face in his hands. "And I never knew. Leia never knew. What kind of parents are we?"

"The kind that don't believe in psychiatric medication." Hux replied, and Han shook his head.

"Like I told you, it's been over a decade. I'm past that now I- Leia. Leia has it too, the depression." There were many rumors, all unconfirmed, regarding Senator Organa's many absences from her duties, but mental illness had never been one of them. Hux knew. He'd kept a running tab on Kylo's family, after he learned who they were. "Her kind is called bipolar depression, has had it since Rey was a kid. She wants it kept quiet, mind, so if you could..?" He trailed off, but Hux nodded anyway. This sort of thing, he understood. Kylo didn't like his mental state blared to the public, either. Still, the question begged to be asked.

"Why did you believe in your wife's depression, but not your son's?"

Han's face fell, and he crossed his arms over his chest. Hux had hit a nerve, but he was willing to be a little late to get the truth out of him. Minutes passed. Finally, Han sighed.

"She hid it from me for six years."

Well. If that didn't beat all. Hux sat back, blinking in surprise. Kylo had always made it seem as though his parents had a very close relationship, but that sort of thing...it can't be hidden easily.

"It wasn't hard. I was on the road a lot, Leia had to travel for work as well. After Ben, after Kylo left, we drifted apart for a long time. But it was our girl that kept us from breaking apart entirely. She was only seven when her brother went away, and we wanted her to grow up as stable as possible." The clear _unlike Kylo_ went unsaid, and Hux was grateful for it. He already had a strong dislike for Han Solo, but if the man was serious about wanting to reconnect with his son, he'd probably have to get over that. "Hux, I'm going to level with you. Leia and me, we've missed our boy since he left, but he already made up his mind to hate us, and I can't blame him. Now he and Rey have found each other, and I don't want to ruin that."

Han reached into the pocket of his coat, pulling out a thick letter in a sealed envelope.

"It's from Rey. She'd have just emailed it but, well. She's funny like that. She said I could read it, but I didn't." He frowned, almost uncomfortable. "I've been putting this off since her winter break ended. Tell B- Kylo, tell Kylo to tell Rey that I'm an ass when he calls her, because I know he will."

The bill came, and Han insisted on paying it. They stood, Hux shaking the older man's hand, declining a ride back. The walk would do him good. As they went to part, Han called out to him.

"Hey, Hux." He turned, quirking a brow. "You, you're good with him. For him. And it looks like you care about him very much so..." Han took a breath, grinning as he let it out again. "When you finally convince my son to marry you, maybe _think_ about sending us an invite to the wedding?"

Hux pursed his lips together, choosing not to reply. Han Solo was not the funny man he thought himself to be.

His long strides were quick as he made his way back to the office, but slowed down less than a block away. It was a Friday. It was relatively warm for the end of February. It was half past noon. And Hux felt absolutely no desire to go back into his brightly-lit, spacious office with the mahogany desk and tempurpedic rolling chair. So instead of turning left to enter the building, he turned right, found his car in the parking lot, and headed home.

"Call Kylo." He said out loud, his car's bluetooth setup connecting. There was loud music on the other end of the line, and Kylo shout-sang at him before cranking it down and chirping out a greeting. "Drop whatever you're doing, I'm coming home."

"Something wrong?" Kylo asked, immediately concerned. Hux was a workaholic. The last time he'd left work early, it had been because Millie ate a sock and Kylo had called him from the vet's office.

"I want to see you right now." Hux replied, suddenly glad that they weren't FaceTiming this call. A glimpse of his own face in the rearview mirror showed his expression to be much too soft for his taste. 

Kylo had been dead asleep when he'd left at seven that morning, as he always was, and had hardly stirred when Hux had kissed his bare shoulder goodbye. He wanted to see those broad shoulders in the daylight, wrestling Millie into her walking harness. He wanted to take them to an early dinner, maybe catch a movie. Let Kylo drive on the way home, because he rarely got to and it always made him smile. Wanted to- well, alright. He wasn't completely sure if he wanted them to desperately tear each other's clothes off and make love in the middle of the living room, or if he wanted something softer and slower, but one of those two scenarios was definitely going to go down. Possibly both, before and after dinner, who knew.

Kylo was quiet for a long moment and when he next spoke, it was with teasing in his voice, full of promise.

"Hurry home, then. I'll be waiting."


End file.
